It's been a while.

Life has flown by since I last posted.
I really can't say that I have a ton too show for it either.
It really is strange go the holidays somehow manage to be somewhat depressing.
I feel as though I'm stuck in time right now. I desperately want some change to happen, something to make me feel alive.
I've been going through the motions for god knows how long and I feel as if I've gotten nowhere. I've always told myself that I never wnated to live my life like this. What is the point in sitting and waiting for the world to come to you. Part of my frustration is the lack or creativity and productivity that has been my life for the past few weeks.
Since it is a new year I'm hoping that I can set some resolutions and stick to them.
1. Begin working out and improving my physical well-being.
2. Record an album. I really hope this will propel my life in some direction.
3. Care about someone. I feel as though I haven't been in a relationship in ages. I miss that feeling of falling in love and the stability that truely caring for another person evokes.
Those would be the three things that I feel my life is lacking right now.
It's early, but I'm tired and sadly must work tomorrow.

by the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.

I felt like writing.
I'm reading a book called Diary by...Chuck Palahniuk... surprise!
It's somewhat depressing, yet at the same time you can't help but laugh. I'm not that far into it, but so far it's been really good, I'll write my final verdict when I finish. But so far, so good.

I've been trying to read more, so today I went to chapters to pick up the before mentioned book.
I think I might go to chapters more often, it's surprising how many attractive (and intelligent I'm assuming since they're in a bookstore) women there are.
It's like a win-win situation, you get to read, drink coffee and talk to attractive/intelligent women.
Aside from me apparently needing to get laid, it's been a while since I've actually sat down and read, and I really enjoyed it. It's easy to forget how nice it is when you've been out of school, and the television remote always seems to be closer than the bookshelf.
That being said, it's not like I'm really home all that often anyways, but I try to fit stuff in where I can.

At work today, I was wondering if anyone will ever read this? I considered censoring myself, just in case. I mean god forbid I offend anyone.
But than I realized how boring that would be. If I only half told what was running through my head in fear that someone else might read it and think I'm weird. Or a friend found this and learned a little too much about me.
Who the fuck cares.
It's kind of nice writing this stuff down, knowing that someone may possibly read it.
If you're reading it now, you're probably very bored, and think I'm on crack.
I'm not though (on drugs), so I apologize for any ramblings you may come across.

I think I'm playing the Opera House in Toronto on December 6th, 15 days before my 19th birthday. I'm fairly psyched to play.
The Opera House is a pretty awesome venue too.
I need to get people out though, so once I get more info, it's band whoring time.

I need sleep.
So here are some things to check out with the fast approaching US election.
I obviously can't vote, but if by some off chance someone from down there reads this, and is somewhat open minded, please check out these alternative news sources.
They offer a relatively unbiased opinion on the news (well different than mainstream media anyways) and It's definitely worth checking out.
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/
http://www.alternet.org/
http://www.opensecrets.org/

Cheers

'The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.'

That's Chuck Palahniuk, and I feel as if it really does apply to life.

You need to hit those lows every once and a while, and after you do the sky's the limit.

It's weird.

You always dread the feeling of hitting a low in your life, but what would the highs be if you had nothing to compare them to?



That being said, I don't necessarily feel as though I'm at a low point right now. In fact I feel like I'm rising fast. My band just came out of the studio... an amazing experience, and have been writing new music like crazy, that I feel extremely confident in.

Ry put it best when he commented on the 'feeling' you get when you write a good song. Like everything is right in the world, and if that message translates over to the audience, you really have something special.

Nothing is done yet, and no shows at the moment, but that will all come soon. We're hoping to play the Horseshoe late November, and until than we're going to work on writing, and tightening up. We have a vocal practice tomorrow, which should be interesting. I'm not the most confident person when it comes to my voice, but it really can add a lot to the live performance of a song, so I'll do my best.



Other than my band, I haven't put a lot of thought into anything else in life.

I work.

I eat.

I sleep (when I can find time).

and I make music (which is what I concentrate my energy on).



Going back to the quote, I really feel as though it applies to my everyday life. I'll have a few horrible days, and than one amazing day... or moment, that makes everything that I've gone through feel worth it.



A few things I'd like to accomplish over the next little while are...

Start playing live.

Possibly go out with a few girls, it feels like forever since I've been in a relationship.

Take up reading again. (I'd really like to read 'Diary' by Chuck Palahniuk)

Quit smoking.

Start working out.

Work less.

Become sociable again.

This could all be possible if I didn't work so much, so we'll see where things go... after Christmas. I guess I have a list of New Year's resolutions to make, but I'd honestly like to try and follow through with all of them.



I'll leave off with a picture of lights, who I think is gorgeous.



Cheers.





*One thing I have to add...
read this article... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7694254.stm

Apparently these guys had been planning too assassinate Barack Obama, and while I find it highly unlikely that they would have succeeded, it just goes to show the narrow-mindedness of some individuals.
I personally support Obama, and feel that, while he may not live up to everyones expectations, he will do great things for the United States.
What really gets me is that this probably won't be the first attempt either. While I know that nearly half of all the US presidents have had some sort of assasination attempt, it sickens me that this is purely based upon his race.
It would be a shame to lose someone with such great potential, purely because of his skin colour.
Growing up in Canada, you do see racism, but you find it hard to fathom in many ways what it's like in other areas of the world because we are so multi-cultural.
I'm tired, and rambling, but I just figured I'd share that.

I fucking hate titles.

Well, it's been quite a while since I last posted.
In that time I've worked more than I ever should (80 hour weeks suck!) and found a new band.
www.recoverychild.com is the link... ch ch check it out!
The dudes are all really cool and killer musicians so I'm really looking forward too seeing how far I can take this thing. We practice 3 days a week so it's been difficult arranging my schedule to suite those needs, but it's been done and everything works now. We're going into the studio October 7th and 8th to begin recording a new album. It's actually only going too be a "media package" 4 songs, live video, interviews and photos; that being said I'm still pumped. The full length album is on it's way...
Oh! got a new tattoo, Toronto skyline on my tricep and I love it, still a few more I would like to get, but I'll give it some time.
Not going back too school, working full time and trying too "make it" this year, and then I'll figure stuff out, but no rush at the moment.
To sum up my life at the moment
-work way too much
-love the new band I'm in
-should probably stop getting tattoos...but I won't
-still single, hopefully not for much longer...
-taking things slow at the moment
I'll write again if I can remember too.

Cheers

Ben

feck.

Well, I don't know what to fucking do now!
I just found out I've been wait-listed for my program, and honestly I really don't know what too do.
I've been looking at other courses but I feel kind of lost.
You're only alive once, and while I am young, I'm also not getting any younger.
I don't want too waste my life trying too get into a course that I probably won't get into.
Wow, I honestly didn't expect too be put into this situation.

Styrofoam

Well, it's been a while!
But not much has changed, still working three jobs, still poor somehow, and I still have very little time too focus on something other than work.
I went down too Toronto today with Robyn, Erika and Jake; which was nice because it made me feel like I actually had a life. I didn't buy anything because I was dirt poor, but next go around I should hopefully have some money too spend.
Erika also burnt me two styrofoam cd's which I'm really diggin at the moment.
I've decided that I will get another tattoo as well, a bird on my right tricep, so now I just need too save up money and figure out what exactly I want it too look like.
I guess thats all for now? If I think of anything I'll post it in a bit.

Summertime...(actually this time)

...and the livin' is easy
I hope anyways.
I had my audition today, and I think it went well. Now I just have too sit and wait.
I think it went well, met a few people who seem pretty awesome, hopefully (if I get in) next year will be pretty awesome.
I got a job at my mom's work, full time and like $15 an hour or something, so thats good. I start tomorrow.
I just realised how bad I am at writing down what's on my mind. I somehow manage too fit a few days worth of thoughts into a few sentances.
I'm sure it'll get better with time.